Factual Dispatch: Elon & Air Bud Dunk the Constitution

I’m so tired. Anyone to the left of Eisenhower could have seen this coming, so naturally, Democratic Party leadership was gobsmacked and horrified at what’s happened since Trusk took office. Schumer, Jeffries, and <Insert Centrist Here> (nightmare blunt rotation) have spent a few weeks crying about norms, consensus, respectability, and other things that people who own monocles concern themselves with.  There’s a terrible plot buried in the chaos that we need to address, while our “leaders” can’t even find the battlefield we’re fighting on.

The GOP has been Air Bud since Watergate, breaking every rule and dunking on the opposition while the DNC begs the referees to do something about it. They’re now treating the gov’t like Bain Capital bought us for “death-by-private-equity,” with Elon’s Squeal Team Six claiming root access at the Treasury Dept. We’re not at the brink of a Constitutional Crisis, we’re in one. From the moment an unelected billionaire got a “resign for fake severance” email sent out to federal employees, it became one. Just like we told the idiots in DC who tried to be friends with people who think a positive affirmation is repeating "It's not who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me” in front of the mirror every morning.

Does pointing out their hypocritical “rules for thee & not for me” work? Absolutely not. There’s no shame you can lay at their feet, no hypocritical stance to point out, or words said in just the right order, for them to “see the light.” The evolution from principled opposition to face-eating leopard has been long documented. To the point where I don’t believe they’re “doing everything they can to stop this” anymore. Sure, and the Washington Generals left it all on the floor during that last game with the Harlem Globetrotters. The DNC has been pretending this is about politeness for so long, I did some historical research on the topic, and found someone had made the point about them being the Washington Generals BACK IN 2004. This is how long the Democrats have been utterly useless.

Except, the Generals are at least in on the joke. They get paid to be the fumbling opposition, a Colmes to the rising Hannity. Being in the room so you can watch geriatric used car salesmen decide how they’re gonna get the copper pipes out of America, is pretty good insider info to have. Especially if you’re one of the 500 people in the country able to insider trade without going to jail forever. 

Pelosi & Schumer aren’t going to fumble their bag in the same way there is no moment when the GOP wakes up and decides to follow the rules. The playbook is out in the open, and Christopher Rufo posts about it daily. The DEI thing was announced months in advance, as is every move they make. Because they know no one will do anything about it, so they have the subtlety of Kool-Aid man on PCP. 

This is the latest evolution of the playbook used in the ongoing assault on government that began before my parents were born, accelerated while I had soft spots in my skull, hit escape velocity with the Tea Party, and has transformed into an orbiting space laser with Apartheid Robotnik at the helm.

How does the GOP know we won’t fight back? Because we haven’t done so. ever. There’s an incredible essay about self-defense by Marc “Animal” MacYoung, where he discusses the “interview” an assailant uses before deciding you’re a good target. Essentially the criminal evaluates a target, and asks themselves “Can I get away with it?” before trying something. America was evaluated by Trusk the same way a woman at a bar is profiled by a date rapist. 

The opposition floods the zone with bogus executive orders, threats, illegal firings, all actions to force their opponents into a reactive posture. Trump & Musk control the tempo of the news in all sectors these days, which is obvious given how they both dominated their respective spheres previously. Can Musk do any of the things he announces? No. Is anyone holding him to that? Absolutely not.  If we fight back, will Trusk relent? Signs point to yes. We can track their initiatives, document the fuckstick behavior, and force judges to rule on every stupid Executive Order that Trump signs. If they fight back, let’s see them demand incel brownshirts deliver their justice. J6 pardons totaled ~1500 people. If you trained and armed them all, they might be able to hold five blocks of West Baltimore. For a month. Maybe. We won’t bat a thousand, but it’s better than doomscrolling and upping one’s SSRI dosage. (Editor’s Note: Secretary Leatherneck’s already looking at vaccine schedules and trying to make mental health meds much harder to get. So don’t rely on those either.) 

There’s no sick burn about Tesla needing gov’t subsidies you can post that would get Musk to act right in regards to SpaceX regulations. One of his staffers was Head of Engineering at Mindbloom, a Ketamine startup, a habit he might still be pushing. The doge website is so poorly coded, anyone can modify it. There is no impassioned plea or poetic verse that, if uttered, would turn DJT into Scrooge on Christmas morning. The only goose he’s going to cook is ours.

Making gov’t small enough to drown in a bathtub, while simultaneously making billions from subsidies, contracts, and oligopolies. Sherwood News summarized the Musky Contracts With America. MotherJones notes that there is no way Musk can hold office in the US without sprawling conflicts of interest that are hilariously obvious and problematic in ways that would make Trump blush. And yet… Is there a plan beyond “trolling the libs,” cutting regulation, tax cuts for the rich, and violating the emoluments clause at scale? Actually, yes! And it’s actually deeper and more diabolical than just Doing A Private Equity to the federal bureaucracy. He’s going for enrichment in ways the centrist mind can’t begin to comprehend. 

Henry Farrell discovered the Trusk admin is attempting to weaponize the US Treasury payments system. Essentially, they’re taking the system banks use to reverse fraudulent or incorrect transactions, and demanding private banks slow or even reverse transactions the administration doesn’t like. This could turn the entire financial system into a political weapon, used against non-profits, businesses, or entities Trump or Musk just doesn’t like. Without visibility, without a legal process, or any documentation at all. Just “this transaction could not be completed” for anyone they don’t like. Forget sex workers being blocked from the SWIFT network, imagine the ACLU or even candidates for public office that haven’t kissed the ring.

Here’s where I go off the rails. Do I think Trump wants the payments system to become political? Absolutely. But Musk wants something far worse. In China, WeChat is a “super app” allowing citizens to call a cab, pay bills, shop for clothes, make group chats, and even get train/bus tickets. Musk has been pretty loud about wanting to turn Twitter into a domestic WeChat, but it would fail given how many choices Americans have. What if gov’t services and public digital infrastructure is politicized and degrades so much that all of us start using WeTwitX as it’s more reliable/less weaponized? That will be a dark, Idiocracy-infused day.  Every transaction, every message, every rideshare, every Shein purchase. Flowing through Grok or whatever the X AI is called.

Which makes the anemic impotence of the Democratic Party even more infuriating. Schumer & Jeffries would like nothing more than to show their bellies and text us 12 times a day for money. This is why they shouldn’t be in leadership. If this country is stuck with a two party system, both parties should be able to function as opposition minorities. Either that or just cleave the DSA off of the DNC, let what’s left of Liz Cheney & Romney’s GOP do the same, and we can have a 4 party hoedown. Add in the Greens, Libertarians, and whatever Marjorie “Jewish Space Laser” Taylor Greene & Lauren “Gimmie that Dong” Boebert are gonna be in 4 years, and we’ve got ourselves a genuine multi-party system. 

Who am I kidding right? We’re going to be trying to find “common ground” with President Musk & VP Eric Adams in 4 years. Does this matter? Usually no, but given what is currently happening with USAID, vaccines, pharma, measles, and TB outbreaks, I would say this is the one time we do have to stand up and fight. We have to call (the 5 Calls app/site is excellent), we have to digest Curtis Yarvin and the Dark Enlightenment movement, and we have to understand the internal struggle between a trifecta of forces within DOGE now: 

Those projects come from different but related places: the Wall Street–Silicon Valley nexus of distressed debt and startup culture; anti–New Deal conservative think tanks; and the extremely online world of anarchocapitalism and right-wing accelerationism. Within the new administration, each strain is striving to realize its desired outcome. The first wants a sleek state that narrowly seeks to maximize returns on investment; the second a shackled state unable to promote social justice; and the third, most dramatically, a shattered state that cedes governing authority to competing projects of decentralized private rule. We are watching how well they can collaborate to reinforce one another. The future condition of the government—and by extension the country—depends on how far the dynamo spins.

For All Humankind. Or, we watch our gov’t be devoured by influencers, accelerationists, used car salesmen, and 18 year old incels who pray for the release of Andrew Tate. 

xyphorinx

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The light grows stronger the more of us that look for it.

Keep shining,
tnh