Factual Dispatch #29: The Cavalcade Of Mediocrity Continues

The Bataan Death March that is the DNC primary continued this week. As someone who hasn’t watched CNN in years, I have to say, I’m starting to understand why people switched to Fox. If there was one loser this week, it was the American voter. Covering politics the way ESPN covers the NFL Combine is massively damaging to our discourse. NiemanLab has a much more articulate explanation as to why it’s corrosive, read that when you finish this. So many reminders as to why I don’t pay for cable: Questions asked in nakedly bad faith, poisonous framing, gotcha replies, giving passes to Trump, all to to coax sound-bytes and clips from candidates that CNN will then be accused of being biased towards. In the words of the immortal Liam Lynch, yeah whatever. Here’s a good summation of Night 1, first correctly envisioned by the excellent Dave Weigel - Sanders & Warren vs. the Centrists

• Warren remains unbowed. She said so many right things, here’s a person I dislike, who dislikes her, defending her. Warren has come through two debates without so much as a scratch on her, and she’s not become the subject of discussion in absentia like Biden & Sanders. This week’s dunk on Delaney also sealed the notion that, if you come at the queen, you best not miss.

• Sanders was at a better tempo and the same volume this time. While many attempted to swing at him, they had neither the vocal or positional fortitude to stand against him. With Warren protecting the left flank, he was free to dispense with the tit-for-tat fighting and force people to recalibrate from 2016. His age was going to be talked about if he was less than spry, and he came across as less bewildered and confused than Tim Ryan for the second time.

• Mayor Pete did a great job elevating himself into the conversation with the heavy hitters. He consistently avoided slap fights, cleaving to smart, albeit neoliberal solution lines and battle-tested millennial friendly messaging. This ensured he wasn’t roped into the pack with Hickenlooper, Delaney, Ryan, Bullock, and, to Buttigieg’s delight, O’Rourke.

• If Pete was the winner of the B-squad, Beto was the loser. He felt exhausted by it all and couldn’t differentiate himself from the pack at all. While he & Booker benefited from not being on the same stage with each other, both seemed almost vestigial on their respective nights. He’ll make it to the first primary, but that might be about it.

• Klobuchar was competent, on brand, and also avoided the fray that the stupider candidates pulled themselves into. With her announcement this morning that she’d acquired enough donors to make it to the fall debate stage, that was the right strategy. Look for message refinement and some punchier PR moves over the summer, especially in the heartland.

• Delaney…came at the queen and missed, hard. He got whupped so badly that he was putting out “Jerk Store” tier press releases two days later, turning himself into the Reply Guy of the DNC primary. I expect him to show himself out shortly, unless corporate donors abandon Biden much faster than everyone expects.

• Hickenlooper must have not had enough punch last time so they brought up Gov. Bullock, a quick-to-anger, frustratingly cocky, poorly informed candidate that I assume must have gotten his invite to the dais by winning a radio call in contest. He might make a coherent Secretary of the Interior in a Warren administration.

• Williamson continued her Poison Ivy-like enchantment of people who have never met a sharp, enchanting older woman from Sedona with a crystal collection, several yoga certifications, and a bad loan or two. Her supremely correct statements on reparations and trauma were peppered with semi-hilarious, semi-terrifying statements on dark psychic energy. I’d absolutely love to listen to her discuss our deep spiritual sickness, but not at the NIH.

On to the 2nd Night!

• For all of the ink that’s been spilled about Biden defending himself, he’s limping. The mention of a $1,000 co-pay made him sound like an Arrested Development character and he spent the rest of the night hiding in Obama’s shadow. Aggressively not understanding that his legacy as a salve, not successor to Obama, while defending policies that weren’t super great ideas but political compromises in the first place was plain bad.

• Harris pushed the envelope to make sure she was the 4th person in the “Biden, Warren, Sanders, x” conversations we’re all starting to have. While she could have spent a little more time at the grand vision wheel to help us see her as a leader instead of a prosecutor, she prosecuted Biden to good effect. The establishment tone policing of her performance was dumb, as I doubt it would’ve been leveled if she wasn’t a black woman. Her biggest unforced error was the heavy use of predator language, evoking a total myopia about her actions related to FOSTA/SESTA. Her biggest forced error was much of Gabbard’s dunking, which to Tulsi’s credit, could not have come from any of the men on the stage.

• Gillibrand’s Clorox comment will give her some much needed social capital, humanized her quite a bit, and helped smooth over her quick invocation of 9/11 and the Victims Fund, which New Yorkers forget isn’t the most popular thing nationally.I think the combo beat down of Biden by Gillibrand & Harris was helpful, continuing to erode his majesty. The call for a Green Energy Race with China is stupid as they’ve been at it for over a decade.

• Booker seems materially more compelling when Pete & Beto aren’t on the stage, but I’m not sure it was enough to right his ship. Points for being the only candidate to mention how African American voters were manipulated by the GRU/Russia on Facebook in the election. His attacks couched in compliments of Biden made me think he’s almost gunning for a VP slot already. Oh also, no one in Newark says “you’re dipping in the Kool-Aid,” as per Newark Twitter.

• Gabbard elevated her stature at this debate, from Orb Gang to B-tier, potentially just from her focused fire on Harris alone. The death penalty stuff, the drug war, it was very well documented and kind of brutal. She shook the AG enough that Harris kept trying to “move on” from the comments after the debate on CNN. Here’s another great read on Gabbard for anyone interested, since I think she might go much farther than I anticipated earlier.

• Castro did well, but ultimately suffered from a similar problem that Beto did the night before, just not striking out and differentiating enough from the pack. People are already hoping that he gets his old job of Secretary of Housing & Urban Development back, in the winner’s administration, which is the saddest estimation of any candidate’s chances I’ve ever seen.

• Urban Lurch’s performance seemed more programmed/refined, so he came off less like a Cave Troll on Ambien and more like…a person I’d vote for as mayor? The problem is that his de Blasio’s stage persona is actually progressive, while his mayoral persona is…not here. He was rightly dunked for accusing Biden of being more responsible for Officer Pantaleo (Eric Garner’s killer) still having his job than he was. Also, he mentioned progress in NYC stretching back to 2005 which is ::checks notes:: 9 years before he took office? Just stop dude. Corey Johnson is doing a great job as Mayor in your absence but it’s getting a little ridiculous.

• Green Lurch was also a little peppier, and the addition of glasses reduced the Cro-Magnon look of his skull significantly. But, the single issue candidate remains a single issue candidate. Inslee couldn’t get excited if I lanced the current that ran through the 25ft display behind the candidates, directly through his cardiovascular system.

• Yang continues to surprise along non-traditional progressive vs. centrist lines, and I hope he’s able to stoke conversations for months to come. His comment about ties, rehearsed attack lines and LARPing really resonated, and he managed to differentiate himself with the little time he had. His Zip code comment weirdness notwithstanding, the “not left right but forward” is smart. As a minor note, his plan to solve the opioid crisis is actually insane. Like, forced 72hr incarceration for anyone who overdoses, and only allowing prescriptions for pain medication to be written in hospitals. Given how many hospitals have closed in the last decade, this will result in untold suffering.

• They should make a buddy comedy with Hickenlooper & Bennett called “Twopee.”

I leave you with a fun thing to look forward to, as this is coming. And when it does, it’s going to be so sweet.

Eye-Watering Data Visualization: How many years of income required to buy a house, county by county:

Also where European predators live -

Vaguely Dystopian News of the Week: You know how every company says that your data’s been anonymized before it’s used/sold by them? There’s an 83% chance you can be identified if researchers have gender, birth date, and zip code. With 15 demographic markers, that chance spikes to 99%. Not very anonymous is it?

Annoying-But-Correct Take of the Week: All of those conferences scientists go to, in an effort to save the world? Not super great for the climate. Also, Robert Mueller’s testimony was actually good.

“Huh, Interesting” Read of the Week: NiemanLab suggests a period of algorithmic quiet before elections for Facebook, like the quiet periods companies are forced to abide by before major financial events. We should probably have one for Google as well.

Royal Sampler

The owner of the NY Knicks, James Dolan, is the absolute worst, and even Bloomberg is starting to agree.

The central premise of the data-driven fitness revolution, that more data leads us to make better wellness choices, might not hold up to scrutiny.

When Life Imitates Art: The scam that was run during the filming of Wolf of Wall Street.

B. Lana Guggenheim evaluates a possible solution to the ongoing refugee crisis in the EU: migrant sharing.

Raluca Albu interviewed Eve Ensler about her heart-wrenchingly relevant book, The Apology. The conversation on abuse and forgiveness is critical to 2019.

Sarah Topol’s deep look at Russian strategy, politics, and sometimes, the lack of both is a mandatory read for anyone trying to understand where Russia is going from here, from the people who have spent their lives studying it. I hope it wins a mess of awards.

Stephon Johnon’s continued coverage of the Mets is critical for the more masochistic among us.

Robert Samuels has become one of the voices the Washington Post looks to when it needs to understand America. His pieces are mini-novellas, windows into who we are and meditations on what we can be. The most recent one, on Biden’s time as a lifeguard in Wilmington is no exception.

A friend & fellow Substacker has started a newsletter populated entirely by book recommendations for all of my lit people. In case y’all didn’t have enough books.

Dunk of the Week: Don’t try to dunk on Don Henley.

August arrives, and with it, a reminder to slow down. What are you doing to relax this month?T