Afternoon Tea - Loneliness Minister

South Africa’s omni-unrest is spiraling, hundreds of Frito-Lay workers are on strike, Cuomo is waffling on the Gateway Tunnel, barbering on a Sunday was illegal, and we missed entirely Japan’s hiring of a Minister of Loneliness. It's Wednesday, July 14th 2021, and this is your Tea.

South Africa’s deadly riots and unrest explained (CNET) I don’t have a lot to say about the riots, as the country has been teetering on the brink of “has money, but kind of omni-fucked” for years. The explanation is long, convoluted, leaves all parties looking bad, and generally reminds that some situations have lots of contributors, but very few “good guys.”

Japan’s minister of loneliness’ in global spotlight as media seek interviews (The Mainichi - May 2021) While the need for this is pretty clear, I can’t shake the idea that Minister of Loneliness is totally the name of the frontman in a metal band that takes it way over the top.

Hundreds of Frito-Lay Workers Go on Strike, Citing 84-Hour Work Weeks (Newsweek) Man, this sucks. I was really hoping to make a few more Frito Pies before the end of the summer. I guess I’ll have to use Dipsy Doodles?

Virgin Galactic acknowledges Branson’s pre-launch bike ride never happened (Reuters) There was apparently some goofy marketing video where the guy who owned the stores I used to lollygag about in as a teen, biked to the launch pad before his trip to Upper Sky. Apparently that bike ride did not happen. I wonder what the contract language looked like with the company who provided the bike. Also, who thought it would be a good idea to physically exhaust the old guy before he strapped himself to a giant tower of explosions in the first place?

New York’s Commitment to Gateway Project Unclear As Urgency Grows (Gothamist) Can I hire any witches to produce a few “Don’t Fuck This Up Cuomo” hexes & curses? The Gateway Tunnel would make getting around the Tri-State area materially easier, faster, and more resistant to climate change. Plus the whole thousands of jobs thing.

Lumber Wipes Out 2021 Gain With Demand Ebbing After Record Boom (Bloomberg) It’s the swings of the 2x4 that’ll kill you. Especially if you’re fighting Classic WWE star “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan.

Google automatically installed a Covid-19 tracker on phones in Costa Rica (RestOfWorld) Dystopian non-consensual round of applause for Google everyone! Great work with the panopticon-as-U2-album. Strong work.

On Chandler Bing’s Job (The Atlantic) From a Chandler who has had a day job people couldn’t quite explain for years now, this is spot the fuck on. “Workism” is definitely a thing, and we need to remember, your job is not a personality. Chandler knew it was trash, and I couldn’t agree more.

Cuomo cuts New York’s ancient Sunday barbering ban (AMNY) I was today years old when I learned that it’s illegal to have a barber go to my head on Sunday? What wacky ass nonsense is this? What else is in the New York State legal code we don’t know about?

Book Returned to Library Was 300 Years Overdue (Kirkus Review) A 1704 edition of The Faith and Practice of a Church of England Man was returned to the Sheffield Cathedral Library in the UK. Thankfully, no late fees were charged.

Song of the Tea: Slowing things down, but keeping some of the shimmer going, Prodigy remixed one of the main themes from the Studio Ghibli masterpiece, My Neighbour Totoro. First off, no not that Prodigy (Big Beat Totoro!), a relaxed, well polished, piano led arrangement, that glitters under the stars. Firefly music, which, we had a bunch of in Central Park this week. 

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-​esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.

Yours,