Afternoon Tea 7.8.21 - Parallel Advertising

You think you can beat me? Here, in this place? In your dreams!

July 08, 2021

Haiti’s assassins might have worn DEA uniforms, Putin whines, Biden lets farmers repair tractors without hacking them, advertisers stack ads by geo, Coors is attempting to sell you beer in your dreams, snakes keep going missing, and flying cars just might be closer than you think. It’s Thursday, July 8th, 2021, and this is your Tea.

President’s Slaying Threatens to Plunge Haiti Deeper Into Chaos (Bloomberg) & Gunmen disguised as US DEA agents assassinated Haitian President, ambassador says (ABC AU) & Haiti Faces Constitutional Crisis After Assassinated President Refuses To Step Down (The Onion) I really, really hope we’re not planning to free the shit out of Haiti, especially given the circumstances the ambassador discussed. Can we stop playing with other governments for like 5 minutes?

France in a fizz over Russia’s champagne label law (BBC News) & Phylloxera: How Missouri saved the French wine industry (Feast Mag - 2017) People from Missouri are the only ones allowed to tell the French we saved their asses now. Not about WWII, but saving the world of French wine. Also lol Putin, lol. I wished Spumanti was champagne in college too. But putting wings on a rat don’t make it a blue jay.

Flying car completes first test flight between airports in 35 minutes (WTOP News) No seriously, actual flying cars, flying routes between airports. They’re coming!

How Wall Street Lost Sight of Didi’s Risks (Bloomberg Opinion) There’s this metaphor used to describe how companies interact with the CCP called “the tallest poppy gets cut.” Jack Ma learned what Didi is learning now. If you try to go public in the West, if you try to grow too tall, the CCP might cut you down, no matter how many billions of dollars you have.

Nightmare scenario: alarm as advertisers seek to plug into our dreams (Guardian) Hey Coors, cut it out. Dreams don’t make any sense to a lot of people. Stuffing a beer can into one might not be the “billion dollar unlock” it’s being sold to you as, by the research start-up who must be loving this contract.

Parallel Ads boosts revenue options for The FA Cup Final overseas (Sports Video Group) Depending on how you watch football, you see different ads. Signage is starting to get geo-tagged such that they can sell 5 ads on the same billboard in a game at the same time.

Biden to Sign Executive Order Granting Farmers Right to Repair Protections (Motherboard) I’m both shocked this was actually granted, and so disappointed it needed to get here. Why did farmers need to learn how to jailbreak their tractors? Is that really how they should be spending their time?

A power tycoon, while Venezuela goes dark, brightens his image abroad (Reuters) Greed, always greed. So much suffering, just because greed.

Boa constrictor accidentally freed in Utah still missing (Associated Press) & Snake that escaped from Louisiana zoo found in shopping mall (NBC News) Uhm, why do snakes keep accidentally getting loose? 12 foot Burmese python in a shopping mall? Does the summer need to get any more lively?

These Chinese Millennials are ‘Chilling,’ and Beijing Isn’t Happy (NY Times) “Lying Flat is Justice” sparked a movement among Chinese millenials. Because they (like us) will be the first generation to do worse than their parents, a culture of “lying flat” known as tangping" is taking hold. To quote the Times behind its silly paywall:

To lie flat means to forgo marriage, not have children, stay unemployed and eschew material wants such as a house or a car. It is the opposite of what China’s leaders have asked of their people. But that didn’t bother Leon Ding.

Mr. Ding, 22, has been lying flat for almost three months and thinks of the act as “silent resistance.” He dropped out of a university in his final year in March because he didn’t like the computer science major his parents had chosen for him.

Song of the Tea: Submotion Orchestra is lovely. S.P.Y. produces exceptional drum & bass. The driving mix will get you through the storm.

Yours,