Afternoon Tea 6.23.21 - Redneck Rave Rampage

Who even gets impaled anymore?

June 23, 2021

A Redneck Rave got someone impaled and racked up felonies ranging from drug trafficking to throat slitting, remote workers might yell at you from surveillance cameras soon, Morgan Stanley is going vaxx-mandatory, and while we’re not sure the winner of the Mayoral primary, we do know that Yang has already dropped out. It’s Wednesday, June 23rd 2021, and this is your Tea.

‘Redneck Rave’ Descends Into Throat Slashing, Impalements, and Mass Arrests (Daily Beast) A five-day country music festival in Edmonson County, Kentucky notched 14 arrests, charging 48 people from five states. One person was driving over a log that pierced the bottom of his vehicle and impaled him through the abdomen, stopped only by a steel plate behind his seat. Another was strangled into unconsciousness and a throat was found slit, as if it was King’s Fuck Landing. All in all, great party y’all.

How China Spreads Its Propaganda Version of Life for Uyghurs (ProPublica) The CPC has been using half-scripted/astroturfed videos of “Uyghur Life” to fight back against claims of genocide. ProPublica & the NYTimes dug in to explain how they’re created and detected.

US Military Training Document Says Socialists Represent “Terrorist” Ideology (The Intercept) Do you know why I know that Antifa isn’t a movement, political ideology, party, or terrorist faction? They’ve never emailed me with some goofy prose, black hat in hand, asking for money.

A CCTV Company Is Paying Remote Workers in India to Yell at Armed Robbers (Vice) & “Black fungus” surges in India—thousands blinded, maimed, dead (Ars Technica) India continues to invent new ways to terrify me about the dystopia we’re living in. I really hope the planet survives long enough for me to see it in person.

Supreme Court rules in favor of athletes in NCAA compensation case (Politico) & The Shame of College Sports (The Atlantic - 2011) If you know anyone who still believes that NCAA athletes don’t deserve to be paid, print out the Atlantic article from 2011, roll it up like a newspaper, and beat said person with it.

Morgan Stanley to Require Vaccinations to Enter N.Y. Offices (Bloomberg) This one was a huge surprise to me. While I’d expected the Finance sector to pile back into offices, I didn’t expect such a conservative organization to declare “Vaxx or GTFO.” Employees who aren’t vaccinated will be restricted to remote work, and it smells strongly like there will be penalties to advancement over time. I have to wonder if Republican culture and Financial/Corporate culture are heading towards a schism.

The Subprime Solar Trap for Low-Income Homeowners (Bloomberg Green) I’d not heard about this at all. Apparently the fine print on a lot of solar set ups can be quite toxic for homeowners without a lot of cash liquidity. Programs people thought would be free ended up turning into thousands in debt and useless tech. The eternal adage remains true: If It feels like too good of a deal, it probably is.

Spears set to make rare remarks to conservatorship judge (Associated Press) Free Britney. No seriously, what the hell is the justification for this going on as long as it has, besides America hating women & refusing to give them agency?

It’s Time To Talk About Men & Miscarriage (Men’s Health) Not only do we not tell women that 25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, there is basically no support for women who undergo it. Support for their male partners? Non-existent. That should change.

De Blasio: ‘Well, Well, Well, Not So Easy To Find A Mayor That Doesn’t Suck Shit, Huh?’ (The Onion) The Onion Remains Undefeated. I mean, look at this artisanal wordsmithing:

“But, no, really, I hope you have a goddamn blast with Eric Adams or whatever asshole you end up going with, and I’m sure you’ll knock everybody’s socks off with some really incredible candidates during the next election cycle. Just goes to show that it’s not so easy to find someone who isn’t a total dickhead hated by everybody.” At press time, De Blasio had issued a joint statement along with Mike Bloomberg and Rudy Giuliani that consisted of them loudly laughing for 10 straight minutes.

Song of the Tea: Madison Square Garden hosted the Foo Fighters over the weekend. They played to a packed house, and I think Dave Chappelle sings Creep at one point? NYC is back, and we’re out of the gate swinging.

If anyone wants to laugh their asses off, have a drink and watch an absolutely smashed drunk Foo Fighters trying to sing and play Stairway to Heaven. This is so old, they’re on Craig Kilborn. And the guitar solo is sung. I’m serious.

Have the confidence of Grohl “singing” the guitar licks to Zeppelin, live on national broadcast TV. ~3:40 into the video, astoundingly hilarious.

Yours,