Afternoon Tea 5.25.21 - Optogenetics

No country is willing to claim an air base that appeared off Yemen, John Cena was very much seen by China on his press tour in Taiwan, Florida is going to punish social media platforms not owned by Disney, and a middle aged dude in Ohio blew himself up making IEDs to ::checks notes:: pay off his lawnmower. It’s Tuesday, May 25th 2021, and this is your Tea.

Mysterious air base being built on volcanic island off Yemen (Associated Press) There’s an air base on “Mayun Island” that no country has stepped up to claim yet. Can you imagine, a new airport at a strategic shipping lane, and it might as well be run by Hank Scorpio at this point.

WWE superstar John Cena is ‘very sorry’ to Chinese fans for referring to Taiwan as a country in Fast and Furious 9 promotional interview (SCMP - CCP-Influenced Source) Not sure if this will make it out to the regular wrestling universe, but John Cena got dunked hard by the Chinese on Weibo after stating that “Taiwan would be the first country to watch the film.” Given how impressive his Mandarin has gotten over the years, I’m kind of surprised he stepped in it like this. Not at China’s predictably “Four Lights” tier response, but that John Cena forgot how badly that would go.

Mysterious agency asks French influencers to denigrate Pfizer vaccine (Numerama - English Translation) The translation of this story is a perfect example of just how perverse our incentives have become surrounding healthcare. French & German influencers were contacted to denigrate/”just ask questions” about the Pfizer vaccine. And from the looks of things, while it’s a page right out of the anti-vaxx playbook, it mentions the AstraZeneca vaccine specifically? The paper trail of the agency “Fazze” in question leads the author to believe it could be the work of Russian intel operatives, but there’s nothing definitive to back this up. Welcome to the pandemic information wars!

Florida, in a First, Will Fine Social Media Companies That Bar Candidates (NY Times) To save you a click, DeSantis & the Florida GOP, trying to curry favor with Tywin Trump, passed legislation that would penalize social networks if they ban candidates or elected officials. Except, and this exception is a doozy, platforms owned by companies that own theme parks in the state. Besides the hilarious exemption of Disney leading to ABC News (ownership chains!), I can’t wait to see what ZuckPark and TwitLand look like. Maybe Twitter can do a half theme park half arboretum and get some conservation tax credits.

Ohio Man Making Bombs to Pay Off Debt Dies in Blast (Daily Beast) & Man dies after making explosive device to pay off lawnmower: Sheriff (Fox 8) Firstly, Ashtabula, Ohio, sounds like a city made up by a Dungeon Master. Secondly, they have video footage of this guy earning his place in this year’s Darwin awards and a quote to boot: “I think he was making explosives and he blew his garage up.” Lastly, to pay for his lawnmower? I know we’re kind of cloistered into the urban core here at the Dispatch, but how much do lawnmowers cost these days that a 55 year old dude was making IEDs to pay it off.

American journalist detained in Myanmar while trying to fly out of country (CNN) A 37 year old working for the news site Frontier Myanmar, out of Yangon was arrested before his flight to Kuala Lumpur took off. If Biden wants to show he’s different from Trump on the issue of press freedom, this is a great place to start.

Queensland power plant explosion causes mass outages across state (The Guardian) & ‘It’s like the embers in a barbecue pit.’ Nuclear reactions are smoldering again at Chernobyl (Science) 500,000 homes across Queensland, Australia are without fire after a coal plant caught fire. Between that and recent reports that there’s a worrying rise in neutrons within the Chernobyl sarcophagus, let’s slow this down? Only one mega disaster per year per planet?

A blind man can perceive objects after a gene from algae was added to his eye (MIT Tech Review) The field of “Optogenetics” has hit its first milestone, with retinas altered by introducing a gene from algae. The treatment was so effective the 58 year old man could find office supplies on a desk after being so blind he couldn’t tell you what time of day it was while standing outside. Just like with Lasik, I’d recommend waiting on this treatment until it’s so common they’re advertising it on the subway.

We’re here folks…

Song of the Tea: Hyperdaze is what you might feel if you listen to this on good headphones after a drink or three. Zeisha adds exceptional vocals that solidify the dreamlike effect of your resolution being just out of reach.

To make up for Nelson yesterday, here is the proper way to pet a porcupine, quills and all.

Yours,