Afternoon Tea 3.6.24 - AstroTurf Wars

Cut Data Cables, OTC Birth Control, and Haiti's State of Emergency

Been fiddling with things, and instead of delaying the post while figuring out how to paywall *sections* of content, I give it to all of you, the people! Y’all love the poem & vibe, so make sure to upgrade to a paid subscription. That will ensure I can keep doing this without feeling guilty I haven’t studied JavaScript, Bash/Terminal, or SQL today. Also tell your enemies to subscribe, so I can turn them into quiet allies.

WARIORZ. ™ di Instagram "Everyone's a gangster until a real gangster walks in the room. 3 weeks out. 🌹"

Haiti declares a state of emergency after a massive prison break in the capital (France 24) & From coup to chaos: 20 years after the US ousted Haiti’s president (Responsible Statecraft) It’s not really a prison break if 3800+ of the ~4200 prisoners escape, it’s more of an emptying. Leap Year 2004 saw Haiti’s president Aristide arrested and secretly smuggled to the Central African Republic. Haiti was a mess before us, thanks to the French, but we went full Mossadegh on them. And they’ve just been killing it ever since. Haiti is truly in a state of emergency, and not a good one like Aaron Hibell created:

3 Red Sea data cables cut as Houthis launch more attacks in the vital waterway (AP) Undersea data cables are the 3rd rail of global cybercommerce, so it’s entirely consistent for the Houthis to be targeting them. But this won’t calm the hotter heads at the table.

'Facial recognition' error message on vending machine sparks concern at University of Waterloo (CTV News) To find out that your university is using facial recognition, not in a press release, but because a vending machine kicks out a busted error message related to it? That’s worth skipping class for.

The Supreme Court Officially Picks Trump Over the Constitution (Balls & Strikes) 23 years ago, the Supreme Court gave George W. Bush the presidency. They finished what they started this week, with a decision absolutely everyone saw coming. This segment really hit home just how stupid this pantomime about theory really is:

The Court’s lone Republican woman settled on a patronizing middle ground. Justice Amy Coney Barrett agreed the majority overstepped, but urged her liberal colleagues to “turn the national temperature down” and not “amplify disagreement with stridency” on such a “politically charged issue in the volatile season of a Presidential election.” Sure, the Court is making the Fourteenth Amendment meaningless, but please don’t be so shrill about it.

France makes abortion a constitutional right (BBC News) Meanwhile on the other side of the pond, France did a good thing. And it’s the most French thing to do, if you think about it.

First over-the-counter birth control pill in US begins shipping to stores (AP) Can’t wait to hear how this causes ISIS Migrant COVID babies or something. As there are no age restrictions on the pill, expect a lot of grumbled signaling about teens from people who have made the lives of teens worse at every chance they could.

NYPD’s Worst Officers Cost Taxpayers Millions (Legal Aid Society) $50M, that’s million, in pay outs in 6 months of last year. Think of what your city could do with another $100 million. In case you’re wondering how this budget hilarity is being addressed, the National Guard is being deployed to the NYC subway, to…I don’t know…shoot unruly trains?

3 every single municipal budget looks like the dril candle budget tweet 6 Ryan Dorsey Baltimore City General Funds by Agency Housing Comm Dev Employment Dev Recreation Parks i Homeless Services I

Panera loosens ingredients standards ahead of IPO, internal documents show (Reuters) Share price-focused capitalism remains undefeated. Just imagine destroying your entire brand’s authenticity & value proposition to your customers, who are specifically sensitive to shit like this, TO GO PUBLIC. Faust comes to mind.

Google hit with $2.3 bln lawsuit by Axel Springer, other media groups (Reuters) Admittedly boring as sin, a bunch of media companies allege Google abused its position to make the paid media environment less competitive and more expensive. Essentially, if Google wasn’t the only game in town for paid search ads, the media companies believe their campaigns would have been cheaper, more effective, and less prone to failure. As someone who has monitored Google AdWords accounts professionally, they aren’t wrong.

How a Small Iowa Newspaper’s Website Became an AI-Generated Clickbait Factory (Wired) Local news is becoming impossible to get. Basic candidate position information is harder and harder to find, while local affiliates are being replaced by spam farms. Like if Invasion of the Body Snatchers was about news stations.

And now, the section of content for only paid subscribers begins! If you want to see the quote, read the poem (from the Tang Dynasty!) and groove to this week’s vibe, subscribe for real!

Quote of the week

“One of the great feats of the mind is creating subjectivity (sensations, preferences, beliefs), and then labeling the result “OBJECTIVE REALITY.” Everybody feels like they see the world pretty much how it is, which always makes it a bit confusing when other people see the world differently.”

Poem of the week

No. 2 (nervousness) by Du FuI was going to place a fish trap, when the clouds came downThe May weather chilled, and the rain splashed coldIt doesn't feel safe, though my rocks and planks are piled highThe water dragons lived in this stream long before we arrived杜甫 绝句四首·其二欲作鱼梁云复湍,因惊四月雨声寒。青溪先有蛟龙窟,竹石如山不敢安。

This comes from Tang Poetry, a lovely newsletter translating & showcasing poetry written during the Tang Dynasty. Which I have no conception of, and is a lovely change of pace.

Vibe of the week

The original, by Glitch Mob et al, of this has been bounced around the newsletter a few times, so the rock redux is great for those who used it for running, but not for lifting.

Keep Your Head Up,tn

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