Afternoon Tea 3.4.2021 - Closing Ranks

They're an army, they're just not your personal army.

March 04, 2021

DeSantis being actively terrible while Cuomo starts to hear the music, Candyman actually happened, Germans created an orgy of new words for COVID-19, and a Cuttlefish has more self-control than Eric Trump. It’s Thursday, March 4th 2021, and this is the Tea.

After his wealthy Florida Keys enclave got early vaccines, ex-Illinois Gov. Bruce Rauner gave $250,000 to Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (Orlando Sentinel) Ron DeSantis is running for the title “Trump 2.0,” and with Lannister-tier shit like this, he’s got a shot.

Cuomo’s office accused of violating its own sexual harassment policy (Politico) & Cuomo Has A Long History of Using Women As Props To Empower Himself, Critics Say (Gothamist) The central issue with neoliberal diversity is that the diverse people named to positions of power largely continue to carry water for the majoritarians. Hence the “HIRE MORE WOMEN DRONE PILOTS” memes on the left. If you think Dr. Christine Ford deserved to be heard, but the people who are accusing Cuomo are political plants, you should sit down and have yourself a think.

New York Lawmakers Agree to Curb Cuomo’s Powers in Scandal Rebuke (Bloomberg) & The Sexism at the Heart of Cuomo’s Boss State (New Republic) & Cuomo’s Biggest Political Problem? ‘Everybody Hates Him’ (NY Mag) When you treat everyone badly, and abuse toxic masculinity to avoid transparency, you don’t win friends and influence others for any reason except that you’re in power. And that leads to amazing quotes like this:

“The problem he has right now is that everybody hates him.” — A Cuomo ally summing up the governor’s woes

Comptroller Stringer calls on de Blasio to give up COVID-19 emergency powers (NY Post) While the Cuomo dogpile continues, Great Value Lurch has tried to paint himself as one of the crowd. This would work if there wasn’t a mayoral race heating up in NYC. All Bill’s dunks on Cuomo did was remind everyone of his headassery.

She Felt A Draft In Her NYC Apartment. Discovering The Source Would Shake Her to Her Core (Gothamist) What?! Candyman is based on a real idea?!? This is utterly terrifying.

China Region Declares War on Crypto Mining, Stirring Wider Fear (Bloomberg) & Hertz, the Original Meme Stock, Is Turning Out to Be Worthless (Bloomberg) A state in China banned ALL crypto mining by April 1, as the push to green the nation accelerate. Given the power needs to mine new coins grow exponentially, the need to reduce power consumption and generate new revenue from coins will collide in about 32 minutes in the rest of the world. This might spike the value of BTC even further, or create market barriers that cause a spiral. As they say in Vegas, it’s the swings that’ll kill you.

A Cephalopod Has Passed a Cognitive Test Designed for Human Children (ScienceAlert - Full Text) A cuttlefish passed the marshmallow experiment, joining the ranks of primates, dogs (sort of), and corvids like crows. For those of us who didn’t major in psych, you’re given a marshmallow and told you’ll get another one if you don’t eat it for 15 minutes. Illustrating the concept of delayed gratification, this means the Cuttlefish has now demonstrated a level of mental resilience we frequently can’t find in sociopathic billionaires & DNC moderates.

First-ever compendium of indigenous technologies provides a powerful toolkit for climate-resilient design. (Harvard Graduate School of Design) This is both a stunning achievement and a massive discovery for me. You can get a graduate degree from Harvard in apocalypse-calibrated design?

Germans have coined more than 1200 words to talk about coronavirus (Washington Post) Tag yourselves! I’m Mindestabstandsregelungen, he who weeps for spellcheckers.

If you go out in Germany during the pandemic, don't forget your Alltagsmaske (everyday mask) or Spuckschutzschirm (spit protection umbrella). If it's a bit frigid outside, maybe don a Schnutenpulli (literally, snout sweater, a cozier word for mask)….Social distancing is Mindestabstandsregelung (minimum-distance regulation). Or, to get more precise, Anderthalbmeter­gesellschaft (one-and-a-half-meter society) for a group abiding by distancing rules. You need ways to cope? How about a little Glühweinstandhopping (hopping between mulled-wine stands) while, of course, paying attention to Mindestabstandsregelungen?

Play of the Week: Give it up for Aliyah here. Get this lady a shoe deal.

Song of the Tea: Strife II is one of the most beautiful artists you’ll never hear about in any form of mainstream music publications or presented to you in a playlist. If you can find six minutes in your day to feel, get headphones and feel this.

Yeah. French writer. Total loser. Never had a real job. Unrequited love affairs. Gay. Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads. But he's also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare. Anyway, he uh... he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, Those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn't learn a thing.~Frank, Little Miss Sunshine (2006)

Yours,