Afternoon Tea 12.14.21 - Bridge Theft

Hippo Ranching, Tainted Groundwater, Subscription Fobs

Naval officers cope with Hawaii sewage, powerpoint presentations for insurrection, Triangle Shirtwaist fire echoes post-tornado, round of applause for Hertz, Toyota charging subscription fees to unlock your car, the workers of Citizen app are unionizing, someone stole an entire bridge in Akron, and the story of how America tried to become a nation of hippo ranchers. It’s Tuesday, December 14th 2021, and this is your Tea. Today’s vibe is comes from Factual Dispatch favorite, Russian metal dnb shooting star, Neuromonakh Feofan.

Navy reports contamination at a second water shaft servicing Hawaii base, state officials say (CNN) Between burn pits, electrocution showers, and contaminated water, we really need to start adding asterisk’s or other caveat marks to all “We Support our Troops” memorabilia. As we very much do not support them.

Trump’s White House Emailed About a PowerPoint on How to End American Democracy (Rolling Stone) & PowerPoint to overthrow democracy tracks Trump's public statements (Popular Info) What does the smoking gun for an insurrection actually look like at this point? If the text messages from Fox News hosts, Don Jr, and Insurrection2021.pptx isn’t enough, there might not be a way to convince people.

After Deadly Warehouse Collapse, Amazon Workers Say They Receive Virtually No Emergency Training (The Intercept) & Tornadoes ripped the roof off American capitalism (Philadelphia Inquirer) If you’re a boss who refused to let people go home along the path of the insane tornadoes over the weekend, you have blood on your hands and I hope Lady Macbeth could get the stains off easier.

Hertz customers claim they were arrested, some jailed and even held at gunpoint after false theft reports (CBS News) & NYC Woman Details Hertz Rental Nightmare Before Thanksgiving Trip (NBC News) At this point, we’d recommend not using Hertz for anything until they sort out these vaguely homicidal tendencies. Pissing off cops & legal professors is a recipe for corporate suicide.

Toyota Made Its Key Fob Remote Start Into a Subscription Service (The Drive) Who knew “You wouldn’t download a car” was an active threat. Needing to pay monthly for the privilege of unlocking your car? No, thank you.

Citizen App Workers Vote to Unionize, Fearing Outsourcing (Bloomberg) The first successful unionization drive at a big tech company, which should result in the leadership of every big tech company spending the holiday reading up on the Pinkerton’s & the Whiskey Rebellion.

The Navy's $9B Stealthy Super Destroyer Is Covered In Rust (The Drive) Appearances can deceive, but when the stealth ship goes from invisible to burnt auburn, less of an optimal clean-up operation.

Akron police say bridge stolen from Middlebury Run Park (Akron Beacon Journal) Ohio police must have the best stories of all 50 states except for Florida and Nevada. How the heck do you get the idea into your head to steal a bridge from a park?

American Hippopotamus (Atavist Magazine) A lovely long-form story about America’s failed ploy to become a nation of free-range Hippo Ranchers. As the Dalai Lama says, “sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.”

Sisyphus, skateboarders, and the value in endless failure (Psyche) Endless failure is the best way to think about “sucking at something is the first step towards being sort of good at something.” Fail more, fail better.

The best science images of 2021 (Nature) Does what it says on the tin, enjoy the fantastic images that are blessedly COVID-free.

Poem of the Tea: Brian Bilston, an internet first poet, gives us a little Rupi Kapur-infused holiday cheer.

You’re so close. You can make it, don’t give up now.

Yours,