Afternoon Tea 1.21.21 - Second Gig

South Korea could be a great model for how to handle the insurrectionist grifters, an abandoned locomotive built in Glasgow showed up in a Paraguay forest, China is pushing theories that the USA created that ‘rona, and Bernie’s mittens & lack of fucks is the inauguration meme we all needed. It’s Thursday, January 21st 2020, Velveeta Elvis remains out of the building, and this is the Tea.

Bernie Sanders: This is the agenda Democrats should pursue under Biden’s leadership (CNN) & Joe Biden must but an end to business as usual. Here’s where to start (The Guardian) If you shared a Bernie Mittens Meme, you are contractually obligated to read at least one of these articles he wrote. Especially if you didn’t support him and/or shit on his supporters in the primary. He’s not just for show, given how much of his politics went from jokes to obvious priorities during his career.

It’s Time for Justice, Not Healing (Foreign Policy) & South Korea Opposition Leader Apologizes for Bloc’s Past Graft (Bloomberg) The way South Korea handled a griftopia jamboree party in 2016 is inherently related to their adult reaction to that ‘rona. We should look to how they treated their political crooks, not bloviate about “unity” with people who aren’t sure if I or many of my readers are people.

China turbocharges bid to discredit Western vaccines, spread virus conspiracy theories (Washington Post) Your chemtrail friends are about to get a fake info dump of how the USA actually caused the ‘rona. Print this article out, roll it up, and hit them with it like a dog who tracked poop into the house. If you like the person, this article from The Guardian gives an approach that involves more kid gloves.

Trump pardons Al Pirro, the former Westchester powerbroker convicted of tax evasion (LoHud) The sacred quest of Judge Jeanine “Vin Mariani, but make it fashion” Pirro has come to an end. All of those bottles of wine consumed in the Fox News green room, all of the speech slurring, all the weird threats to go stomp around the Chappaqua forests looking for Hilary Clinton, have paid off. Now let’s get her a nice ibogaine detox.

Still Can’t Breathe (ProPublica & TheCity, CW: Violence) Two of my favorite bastions of good journalism, comprehensively documenting a thing criminal justice advocates proximal to the five boroughs have been begging people to look at. NYPD ostensibly banned chokeholds over and over again. But if cops aren’t punished for using them, expect more videos like these.

3Mbps uploads still fast enough for US homes, Ajit Pai says in final report (Ars Technica) Remember this jack wagon? No more giant Reese’s mug or aggressively disingenuous reports about how America’s broadband is A1, but he had to get one more shot in on the way out.

The Ideological Emptiness of ‘Playbook’ (New Republic) This hits home, as I both consume Politico morning state level news, and absolutely abhor sponsored content on the policy/topic you’re covering. Pushing the intellectual wasteland that is the mind space of Ben Shapiro in the name of perspectives and “Both Sides” is truly a bad place we’ve arrived at.

Silicon Valley Takes the Battlespace (Prospect) & Palantir Vanishes From Biden Adviser’s Biography After She Joins Campaign (The Intercept - 6.26.20) You know I’m going to go in on any weird ass digital panopticon nonsense coming out of this administration. Besides Thiel & Zuck, a lot of Big Tech chafed at being associated with Trump. Biden’s administration is a lot more palatable. Watch this space.

Glasgow-built locomotive discovered abandoned in middle of forest in Paraguay (GlasgowLive) And now for something completely different! Back in the day, Scotland shipped locomotives all over the globe. So they made it all the way to Paraguay.

Song of the Tea: 8.5 hours of lo fi Bernie filibustering. I'm serious. Soothing in its regularity & frustration with the dysfunction in our Legislative branch.

Get in loser, we’re going fighting for people we’ve never met before.

Yours,TP.S. Of course I wasn’t going to leave you hanging. The two largest Bernie Mittens meme repositories I’ve found on FB are this one by Chris Kutalik Cauthern and this one by Binders Full of Women. And one more for the road…