Afternoon Tea 1.13.2021 - Soldiering On

It's never a sprint, is it?

January 13, 2021

Someone powered every device in their home with a Ford F-150, two 1/6 participants assaulted a DC special police off-duty, Rudy might need a champion, and members of the House of Representatives are starting to suspect other Reps sought to use the insurrectionists to harm them. It’s Wednesday, January 13th 2021, and this is the Tea.

Rep. Mikie Sherrill says Congress members gave ‘reconnaissance’ tours day before the Capitol raid (North Jersey) If multiple Congressional Representatives are on the record attesting to what looked like their fellow chamber members leading insurrectionists around the Capitol building the day before, some important GOPeople might need to answer some questions under oath. Rep. Susan Wild agrees in Elle, as did AOC on IG.

‘It was like looking at evil’: The Capitol attack through the eyes of the Massachusetts delegation (Boston Globe) Spectacular, terrifying account of the Sacking, that emphasized why so many of us didn’t think the riot was random, and that elected representatives were in real danger. The panic buttons in Representative Pressley’s office were removed, all of them, the day before, and her office wasn’t informed.

As people rushed out of other buildings on the Capitol grounds, staffers in Pressley’s office barricaded the entrance with furniture and water jugs that had piled up during the pandemic. Groh pulled out gas masks and looked for the special panic buttons in the office.

“Every panic button in my office had been torn out — the whole unit,” she said, though they could come up with no rationale as to why. She had used them before and hadn’t switched offices since then. As they were escorted to several different secure locations, Groh and Pressley and her husband tried to remain calm and vigilant — not only of rioters but of officers they did not know or trust, she said.

Women charged with Assault After Special Police Officer Punched Trump Supporter (NBC Washington) Two women assaulted a Black police officer who was on break from a security job in downtown DC the night before the Sacking. The two women attempted to remove the special police officer’s mask while screaming “F Antifa.” So, with one cop dead, beaten to death by the mob, another dead from suicide, and a 3rd assaulted the night before out of uniform…miss me with all of that Blue Lives Matter.

Rudy Giuliani says his "‘trial by combat’ comment during Trump’s Jan 6 rally was a ‘Game of Thrones’ reference, not a call to violence (Business Insider) On this week’s episode of Dark Carnival Pokémon, Rudy attempts to invoke Tyrion Lannister as a defense against “trial by combat.” Don’t you see, he’s just saying he wants other, fitter, people, possibly of working class, immigrant, or Mandalorian origin, to fight and possibly die on his behalf! See, fiction! How could you read that as a call to violence?!

The Happening is Still Happening (Garbage Day, Paywalled) is one of the Substack newsletters I pay happily for, but have a hard time explaining to people who don’t get it. Ryan Broderick is one of the best commenters on internet trends & minutiae I’ve encountered, and I’m quoting him in hopes y’all will get his free or paid newsletter. His “Area 51 Raid Theory of Internet Mobilization” gets at a thing mainstream commenters won’t understand for years to come:

With any large-scale digital movement that becomes physical, first, connections are usually made in big public Facebook groups. Physical events are organized with Facebook events and users begin working towards them. Public updates about what’s happening within the movement or community are transmitted via Twitter feeds. And YouTube acts as an adjacent education and recruitment tool. Meanwhile, smaller more intense networks are built around these events on dark social on platforms like Discord, messaging apps, and in DMs. And then, whatever cataclysmic moment the community has been building towards happens. Once it does, all the content created during the physical event is reuploaded online and used as a further recruitment tool. This is true for fandom conventions, incel mass shootings, the siege of the Capitol Building, hypebeast product drops, and the 2019 Area 51 raid.

The ongoing success of the movement or community is determined by how viral the post-event content tail is. Stop The Steal has already succeeded in that regard. 8chan vikings and terrorist militia members were able to create such an incredible amount of content from Wednesday’s insurrection that our feeds are still awash in images and videos of it.

What’s still unclear, though, is whether or not the actual event that the months of hype have been building towards has actually happened yet or if we’re still, very much, in it. To put things in perspective, the Yellow Vest movement in France started with one viral Facebook event and was able to continue for 26 weeks based off the viral inertia.

A connected idea is in this twitter thread, referring to system-breaking “happenings” as “Omega Events.” In this case, tech companies did the unavoidable (ban Trump) to prevent the unthinkable (Trump successfully subverts US democracy) to protect themselves (Emperor Tang is bad for profits), not because of any higher calling.

The Caspian Sea, central to Iran & Russia, is set to fall by nine yards or more this century (Informed Comment) This is one of those things where I can’t even tell you how much I don’t know about it, but I know it will be a massive concern over the next 100 years.

Five Days Without Cops: Could Brooklyn Policing Experiment be a ‘Model for the Future’? (TheCity) Replacing cops with violence interrupters and crisis management groups works. And Brownsville had five days of clean streets to show for it. The 3rd Season of The Wire was so underrated.

I Powered My House with the Ford F-150 Hybrid (Car And Driver) This is one of those “so American it hurts” things that actually goes all the way around to becoming a great idea. You can apparently run your entire house using the power generation capabilities of a Ford F-150 Hybrid.

With my Honda generator, I can run the essentials—fridge, some lights, fans, TV—but I might have to unplug something if I want to run a power-hungry appliance like a coffee maker (600 watts) or microwave (1500 watts). To test the F-150, I plugged in as many things as I could think of, all at once: coffee maker, Shark vac, TV, internet modem and router, tankless gas hot water heater, fridge, garage fridge, and a couple lamps. Oh, and while we're at it, let's get the wrinkles out of some clothes with my 1400-watt iron. I don't normally vacuum, make coffee, and iron clothes all at once, but these are the things we do for science.

The cost of being ‘The King’ (MMA Fighting) If you know anyone who was into UFC when it was coming up, they probably mentioned Spencer Fisher at one point. That dude’s brain is messed all the way up. What responsibility does high-impact leagues have to their stars, especially the ones who built the empire they’re forced out of eventually?

Before we get to the Song of the Tea, I need to leave you with this spectacular use of a classic meme. El Risitas has been going around for years, but with the subtitles outlining how insane the info people put on Parler was, it’s reached an apex we can all laugh along with.

Song of the Tea: ShantyTok! To explain, a sea shanty was sung on tiktok, posted by someone named Nathan Evans, and it became a creative bonanza. The tune lent itself to a spectacular amount of vocal arrangement, orchestral scoring, muppet accompaniment, and of course, a dance remix.

If you close your eyes, when the sun is shining, you can almost feel the planet getting closer to the giant nuclear furnace in the sky.

Yours,T