Afternoon MVP 8.4.21 - Phantom Warships

Italian Defense, Closed China, Baby Pandas.

August 04, 2021

Rudy’s running out of cash, removing enhanced unemployment didn’t spur hiring (Editor’s Note: Duh), new pandas were born, phantom warships are a thing, a sumo statue might be scaring horses, and Cuomo is going to try and Trump his way out of it. It’s Wednesday, August 4th 2021, and your Vibe of your Tea is some shockingly good Tech Trance that was made last year. It’s not for everyone, but if you’re into harder-than-expected old school rave beats, get into it with some bass.

If Tech Trance isn't your cup of tea, here's a cat that stole the show at Yankee Stadium. Earning every one of the calls of “MVP” from the crowd. Get this kitten a contract at a dank bodega near the stadium:

And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming…

Report: Rudy Giuliani’s “Close to Broke,” Prepared to Go to Prison (Vanity Fair) Our Dark Carnival Pokemon’s journey could finally be at an end. Without his trainer’s funds to keep him fed, sane, and safe, he’s become wild and might end up letting loose on the Feds. Don’t corner a wounded shadow Pokémon of that power level, he could lash out in 9/11 and anti-squeegee man rhetoric any minute.

Cuomo is under criminal investigation and could face lawsuits. (New York Times) New details emerge about how CNN anchor Chris Cuomo advised Gov. Andrew Cuomo in sex harassment inquiry (NBCNews) & Here's how impeachment works in New York (Politico) Given the scope of AG James’ report, Cuomo is welcome to run for Governor again, but I assume his ability to fundraise will be as hamstrung as his ability to govern until the end of his term. With criminal charges percolating and no wagons willing to in defense of him, the calls for him to leave are...quite loud. We’re citing the Politico NY Morning Playbook as it is hysterically comprehensive:

The Assembly Dems who want him out are now joined by… almost everyone. James’ report prompted some of Cuomo’s biggest allies to make definitive calls for an end of his reign, including President Joe Biden, the governors of New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Connecticut and Rhode Island, and a handful of Democrats in the congressional delegation who had held out. Former counsel and member of Cuomo’s inner circle, Alphonso David (who himself was named in the report), joined the chorus as well.

EDITORIAL BOARDS UNITE: The Washington Post: Andrew Cuomo is unfit for office; USA Today: The report is in, and it's clear. Gov. Andrew Cuomo must resign now; Times Union: Cuomo is unfit for office; Buffalo News: AG’s report documents misconduct that Cuomo cannot overcome; Advance Media NY: Assembly must impeach Gov. Cuomo now; Newsday: It’s time for Cuomo to resign; Daily News: Indefensible Andrew: Even if Cuomo was just clueless and not predatory, he has created a workplace rife with sexual harassment; New York Post: Andrew Cuomo has to go — right now; The Wall Street Journal: The Andrew Cuomo Standard

Jobs data suggest states that cut off enhanced unemployment benefits did not boost rehiring (The Week) Oh that thing we said wouldn’t help? Didn’t. Great job on being cruel during the ongoing pandemic though.

Threats of violence spark fear of election worker exodus (The Hill) Given how wacky elections are going to get in the face of an increasingly radicalized alt right, I 100% understand why election workers are walking out.

The Rise and Fall and Rise (and Fall) of the US Financial Empire (Foreign Policy) Those arguments your friend always tries to have about the Fed and the petrodollar and all of that? This is a better use of your time.

BlackRock joins Citi and HSBC in plan to close coal plants early (Sydney Morning Herald) If Big Finance crushes coal because it’s profitable to do so, let’s not get in their way until they’re done.

What If China Never Reopens? (The Wire China) Fascinating reminder of how utterly sealed China has become since COVID spread across the globe. There’s no real indication that China will reverse course, as it’s working out kinda ok for them. Given the recent neutering of the tech sector in their supposed market economy, we’re finding this read more compelling than a year ago.

Phantom Warships Are Courting Chaos in Conflict Zones (Wired) Phantom Warships is not a band you saw in the side room at Elsewhere this summer. If everyone keeps spoofing their location on GPS nav systems, eventually, we’re gonna have a weird ass naval crossroads accident.

Equestrian Sumo scare? Riders say horses might be spooked by statue (AP) Horses at the Olympics might be scared of a part of the course where a sumo statue is in battle stance. We’re certainly not qualified to gauge the accuracy of the “sumo scares horse” claim here at the Tea, so go nuts.

Giant panda in French zoo gives birth to ‘lively’ twin girls (AP) Two new baby pandas, somehow. Given the general level of fail that pandas exist at a daily basis, this is wildly good news for the species.

Poem of the Tea: Ebonics 101 by Steven Willis is just raw, just real, just in your face enough to educate and impress. For those who aren’t in the mood for spoken word or aave, I have Ada Limón for you.

If people are angry or confused when you enforce a boundary, remind them that it’s not an insult, it’s a consequence.

Yours,